Seeing the kids over the summer holidays? - consider this….
At this time of year, everyone is preparing for the summer getaway. However, if you have recently separated from your partner or spouse, you should have started to think about how the summer holiday plans will affect the children. If you have already booked a holiday away, you would need to take this into account, and discuss with everyone as to what would be best.
If you have not already got a holiday booked, you might want to ask the children what they want to do. Would they want to go on holiday with you, or their other parent? The law states that parents should place the children’s needs first and therefore it is necessary to think more about what the children want, rather than the wishes of one of the parents – despite how difficult this may first appear.
For the children to share their summer holiday between their parents needs to be planned carefully. The thing to remember though is that if the children say that they don’t want to go on holiday with one of their parents, that they are entitled to their opinions – and in no way should this be reflected back upon the other parent.
Another scenario is where one of the former partners has now settled down with someone else. Do they all go on holiday together with the children, or would that be pushing things too much and too quickly? Sometimes the change can be overwhelming for children, especially if the new person asks to be called “mum” or “dad”. You cannot automatically assume and expect that all of your children will take favourably to your new partner– it can take months or years for them to come to terms with your separation, and that their parent has a new partner.
The law encourages children of 11 years plus to voice their own preferences as to when and in what circumstances they wish to see their parents. Of course where there are children who are considerably more mature for their age and are more capable of making their own decisions then their views can be taken into account even where they are slightly younger than 11. Otherwise all children who are younger than this should be encouraged to have regular contact with their parents by getting a routine for contact set up which appeals and benefits them. The Courts approach is to encourage parents to sort out contact disputes them selves rather than intervening in the family too much.
It is best to schedule in some dates and places for you to see your child (ren) to get the most out of the 6 week summer holiday break. Remember that its about what is best for the children not what suits the individual wishes of the parents. Think about what motivates the children and how best to get one to one contact with them.
This article is on a similar topic, yet from a different perspective, to my article of 2nd May entitled “ We’ve split up – what will happen to the children?”. If you wish to have a copy of this article, please contact Elizabeth Guppy of Brooker Alexandra Speed Solicitors, on 01344 862777 and we will be pleased to provide you with one, or to discuss your questions with you.
Elizabeth Guppy
Do you have a legal question? If so we will try to answer it.
Contact us online...or call 01344 862777